The day after Christmas we headed down to our beach house for a little over a weeklong vacation. We needed this time together as a family, we needed some relaxation and joy with our girls. The beach is our happy place. It has always been my happy place since before I can remember. I love that my husband and kids find as much peace as I do with their toes in the sand.
We spent lots of time shell hunting and taking golf cart rides up and down the beach all bundled up with blankets. It might seem strange to be enjoying the beach at the end of December, but there is something so beautiful about the beach in the wintertime. We celebrated Kevin’s birthday and took some quick maternity photos that ended up gorgeous for impromptu iPhone photos.
Some friends joined us for new years, and we watched fireworks as we gave cheers to the new year. My prenatal life post procedure started that week. I had weekly appointments. Echocardiograms every other week, high risk OB visits every other week, ultrasounds weekly, stress tests weekly. Driving downtown once a week every week to check on our warrior Jack. Many weeks I would have five appointments in one day. I would be at the hospital from 10am until 4pm. This was my new life until it was time to meet Jack. One month like this. It was a long month. We aligned my appointment days with the girls’ school days, but I still needed so much help from our parents. Someone different would be picking them up from school every day it would seem. I hated how much my girls were being affected by this. I wanted to protect them from all the bad and scary and sad, but I could barely swallow it down. Each appointment carried so much fear and anxiety. Was he still stable, was he going into heart failure, will I have to deliver early? And as the time inched forward and my pregnancy neared an end there were all the questions about delivery being answered. Things like, will I be able to hold him… no. Will I be able to nurse him… no. Will he be in a room with me… no. And all the information given to prepare us… he will immediately get an IV in his belly button through the umbilical cord, he will be too weak and fragile to allow him to feed so he’ll be given IV nutrition, he will most likely have open heart surgery within the first week of life. And then the appointments would bring a high of relief because Jack was still stable and growing and looking ok. I rode an emotional rollercoaster every week over and over again. I had to keep myself distracted.
We celebrated Laynie’s birthday and had a princess party for her. My family threw me a beautiful baby shower to celebrate Jack. I worked in the nursery every day that I could.
Right up until the appointment that his cardiologist said we need to deliver because his ventricle was no longer growing, and she feared it was too risky to continue to wait. So, at 36 weeks and 6 days we gathered our things, settled the girls with their grandparents and headed to the hospital to be induced.
Commentaires